Alice wants X
Bob wants not-X.
But how much do they want it? They can argue, they can barter, or they can just conduct a utility auction. Alice bids 100 utilons, Bob bids 120 utilons, Alice raises her bid to 150 utilons, Bob concedes, Alice wins the auction, and now Alice gets X and owes Bob 150 utilons. Maybe you they’ve agreed in advance that doing the dishes is worth 10 utilons, so that the scale is grounded. Maybe later Bob wins a 200 utilon auction, which nets out so Bob owes Alice 50 utilons.
There’s a lot of work that could be done to flesh out this idea, but that’s beyond the scope of this post. Just an idea. Maybe I’ve just reinvented money with a layer of indirection that might or might not have psychological benefits.
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Utility auctions
Oh, hey! I think you're the Jonathan I hung out with at Manifest? Too bad we didn't know to nerd out about this there. This is pretty much exactly how things work in our family. We started with a currency called yootles but then switched to dollars. See https://messymatters.com/tv
A recurring auction (based in utilons-or any accounting system) between two people to negotiate a keep-the-game going strategy =a very tedious, unhappy marriage.
The only hope would be, not counseling, but an audit.